How Can We Embrace the Evolution of Fabulously Fighting in Our Tribe Like Bees in Their Hive?

I want to begin this blog post with an apology. It's been several weeks since I've been actively writing and sharing. As I continue to deal with depression, anxiety, and being back on chemotherapy, I often isolate myself as a reaction to my trauma. I'm diligently working on this through therapy and allowing myself grace during times when I feel like giving up. Each Tuesday, I meet with my therapist to gain a deeper understanding of how I reached this point and to confront the significant trauma I desperately wish to escape. Last week's session brought up some very raw emotions I, unfortunately, was not equipped to handle.

This past week amplified my trauma response in ways that I had not anticipated, making each day feel like a prolonged battle against an invisible force. It was as if I was wading through petroleum jelly, the thick, viscous substance slowing my movements and clouding my thoughts, making even the simplest tasks feel Herculean in nature. The heaviness of my emotions weighed down on me, creating a sense of lethargy that permeated every aspect of my daily life. Each morning, I would awaken with dread, my heart racing as I braced myself for the challenges ahead. The struggle bus, as I like to call it, was creeping along at a snail's pace, each bump in the road exacerbating my feelings of anxiety and despair. Despite this overwhelming sense of sluggishness, my brain was paradoxically firing on all cylinders, racing with thoughts and worries that felt both vivid and chaotic. Ideas would swirl around in my mind like a cyclone, each vying for my attention, yet I found it increasingly difficult to focus on any single thought long enough to make sense of it. Memories of past traumas would surface unexpectedly, often triggered by mundane occurrences, and I felt as though I was caught in a relentless loop of recollection and emotional turmoil—the dichotomy of feeling mentally alert. At the same time, being physically and emotionally drained created an exhausting and bewildering dissonance. As the week progressed, I tried to navigate this fog of confusion and distress, seeking moments of clarity and calm amidst the chaos. I found myself turning to various coping mechanisms, whether journaling my thoughts to untangle the web of emotions or engaging in mindfulness practices to ground myself in the present moment. Each day was a testament to my resilience, even as I grappled with the weight of my experiences. The journey was arduous, but I held onto the hope that with each passing day, I would find a way to rise above the thick sludge that threatened to engulf me.

Today's therapy session unpacked what the previous week had stirred up for me. I have been going back and forth on taking medication for depression and anxiety. As you all know, I am the holistic queen and want to do everything naturally. So, I've struggled with speaking about this as so many are very opinionated about mental health medication. Let me emphasize that you should do what is best for YOU. I will never judge someone for making the best decision for themselves, nor will I attempt to change anyone's mind about their choices.

After extensive research and consultations with numerous professionals, I decided to immerse myself in therapy, take supplements that support mental wellness, and consistently apply the tools I have been provided with daily. I am a continuous work in progress and have a long way to go.

For so long, we have heard and spoken about depression and anxiety as just a chemical imbalance, a narrative that has permeated both medical discussions and popular culture. While it is indeed true that for a small segment of the population, these mental health issues may be linked to neurochemical factors, this perspective tends to overshadow a much larger and more complex reality. It diminishes the understanding of the profound impact that social dynamics, cultural disconnection, and environmental factors have on mental well-being. This limited view can lead to a misunderstanding of the multifaceted nature of mental health challenges, which are often deeply intertwined with the fabric of human relationships and community support. In contemporary society, we frequently find ourselves in a paradox where technological advancements and urbanization have led to increased isolation despite being more connected than ever through digital means. This disconnect can foster feelings of loneliness and despair, which are significant contributors to depression and anxiety. The traditional support systems within close-knit communities have primarily eroded, leaving many individuals feeling adrift and unsupported. Humans are born with an innate capacity for forming social connections.  This inherent trait is crucial for our survival and development, as social bonds provide emotional support and play a vital role in our psychological health. From birth, we seek interaction, comfort, and affirmation from those around us. The absence of these connections can lead to a myriad of mental health issues, as the human brain is wired to thrive in an environment of social engagement and community belonging. As we delve deeper into the roots of depression and anxiety, it becomes increasingly clear that addressing these conditions requires a holistic approach. This approach should encompass medical and psychological interventions and a concerted effort to rebuild our social networks and foster a sense of belonging.

By recognizing the importance of community and social support, we can shift the narrative surrounding mental health from chemical imbalances to a more comprehensive understanding that includes human connection, cultural heritage, and communal ties in shaping our emotional landscapes. In doing so, we can pave the way for more effective strategies to combat the rising tide of mental health challenges in our society.

My depression and anxiety are not merely a glitch in my system; instead, it serves as a vital signal, an important message that my mind and body are communicating to me. These feelings are not random occurrences or mere inconveniences but indicators of deeper issues that require immediate attention and understanding. They signal that something within me is out of balance, that my emotional health is in distress, and that I need to take a step back to assess what might be causing this turmoil. I continue to unpack the profound disturbance within my mind, body, and soul daily. To get through this, I have to do the work and walk through it, no matter how daunting and scary it may seem.

When I experience anxiety, it often manifests as a heightened state of alertness, a constant feeling of unease that can be overwhelming. This response can be traced back to evolutionary instincts, where anxiety acted as a protective mechanism, alerting individuals to potential environmental dangers. However, this instinct can become misfired in modern life, leading to excessive worry and fear that may not correspond to immediate threats. It is essential to recognize that this anxiety is trying to tell me something important about my current circumstances, my stressors, and my mental well-being.

Similarly, my depression is not just a state of sadness or a fleeting feeling of hopelessness; it is a profound emotional experience that often signals a need for change. It may indicate that I feel overwhelmed by life's challenges, struggling with unresolved issues, or needing support and connection with others. Understanding depression as a signal rather than a flaw allows me to approach it with compassion and curiosity, seeking to uncover the root causes and addressing them with care.

In acknowledging my depression and anxiety as signals, I can begin to explore constructive ways to respond to these feelings. By engaging in self-care practices, therapy, or contacting friends and family for support, I use the tools that I have learned over time. By viewing these emotions as essential indicators of my mental health, I can foster a deeper understanding of myself and embark on a journey toward healing and resilience. Ultimately, recognizing that my depression and anxiety are signals encourages me to listen to my inner self and take proactive steps to restore balance and well-being in my life.

In addition to Cancer and Lupus, managing my mental health has been one of the most challenging hurdles. Healing is not a straightforward process. There is no magic pill.

What I know to be helpful is the community, a vital aspect of our human experience that can provide support, understanding, and a sense of belonging. While I have a lot of trust issues with putting myself out here again, stemming from past experiences where vulnerability was met with skepticism or indifference, I feel that Fabulously Fighting is my tribe. This community embodies resilience and strength, creating an environment where individuals uplift one another and share their journeys openly. This group's shared experiences and collective wisdom foster a deep connection, allowing members to navigate their challenges together. Being part of such a tribe can help me rebuild my trust in others and myself as we all strive to overcome our personal battles while celebrating our victories, no matter how small they may seem. The warmth and encouragement I have encountered here reinforce my belief that I am not alone in this journey. In moments of doubt, I find solace in knowing that others understand and support me, and that gives me the courage to continue engaging with this incredible community. As bees evolve in their hive, Fabulously Fighting will grow together in our tribe. So, thank you for being a part of my healing and tribe.

With love and light,

xoxo- Fab